The designation
When we defeat someone in a video game, that opponent is officially designated a Glonk. An unfortunate title, earned through defeat.
← Personal / Anti-Glonk Operations
Public enemy no. 001 / Active campaign
THE GLONK
PROBLEM.
For too long, Glonks have spread across our gaming lobbies without consequence. That ends with us.
Standing order: If you see a Glonk in a match, kill or exterminate it in-game. No surrender. No excuses. No Glonks left on the scoreboard.
01 / Situation report
This is not a drill.
The threat
Glonks are everywhere: careless pushes, questionable strategies, and yet another lobby that underestimated the wrong people.
The response
Spot a Glonk. Engage in the match. Eliminate the threat. Record another Glonk defeat and move on to the next game.
02 / Authorized personnel
Two names. One mission.
Lead operative
THE GLONK ANNIHILATOR
Wherever a Glonk appears, the Annihilator is not far behind. Dedicated to removing Glonks from matches with ruthless efficiency.
Watch on Twitch ↗Joint command
ALL GLONKS MUST PERISH
The second half of the operation. Together, the two enforcers take the campaign into every lobby they enter.
View the Steam group ↗03 / Field manual
Encounter protocol
01IDENTIFY
Notice a suspicious opponent in the match.
02ENGAGE
Execute the play. The scoreboard does not lie.
03EXTERMINATE
Defeat the Glonk in-game and clear the lobby.
04REPEAT
There are always more Glonks.
Official directive
ALL GLONKS MUST PERISH.
We didn't choose this fight. The matchmaking system chose it for us. Every win is one less Glonk standing between us and victory.
Visit GLONKSMUSTDIE on Steam ↗Glonk is our gaming nickname for defeated opponents. All exterminations on this page refer to virtual opponents and in-game wins, never real-world violence or harassment.